I was on a bit of a downer at the beginning of last week. I get that way sometimes and I find it helps to just get out for a drive and a change of scenery. I decided to take a drive to North Queensferry which isn't far from where I live, in Fife to have a look over the water and the two bridges. For some reason, I've always found bridges to be a great source of inspiration and comfort when I'm not feeling myself. I see them as a gateway to another place, a journey. They symbolise strength, determination and adventure, things which I needed a lot of at the time.
My aunt died a couple of weeks ago and while we weren't very close, I was saddened by her passing. She was my dad's (who died when I was 17) sister and the only one of his two remaining siblings that I spoke to. I felt sad that it was perhaps the last connection with my dad gone forever. For reasons which are too long winded to explain, I had fallen out with my uncle after my dad died. He hadn't treated me very nicely and I was heartbroken, vowing to never speak to him again.
However, it will be 15 years in August since my dad passed away and I'm no longer the person I used to be. I've changed a lot over the past year and I decided that it was time to let bygones be bygones and forgive him. I have no malice or hatred towards him anymore and I missed being in contact with my cousins too. I have to say that I feel a lot better for it and was happy to be with my dad's family again, like I belong.
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